40 weeks

 

40 weeks
DUE DATE: July 17th
 

Congratulations to me and Conner for making it through 9 long months together, healthy and happy. Something I never realized until I was in this position was that you absolutely do have the option to quit in pregnancy. You can easily loose your confidence, your happiness, your self esteem and yourself completely if you don't stay focused and appreciate the beauty in it. Did I love my ever growing swollen feet, killer heartburn, inability to sleep and exhaustion 24/7? Nooooo.....but I loved the fact someone gave me the opportunity to create life with the person I love most in this world and to start a family of my own. I love the fact I was forced to stop and look at my life and figure out what truly mattered and I am so happy that I was given a chance to re-create myself, develop better qualities and apply that when my baby boy gets here.


Worst thing about pregnancy:

I didn't like the 'handicap' part of pregnancy. Having to roll out of bed or ask for help getting up became really old really fast. I didn't like when I was laying down on my back and my breathing was completing cut off by the way the baby would be positioned.

Best thing about pregnancy:
Obviously the kicking and hiccups are my favorite just like most moms! He got the hiccups for the first time that I felt on 4th of July and I'm pretty sure it was because he was so scared. He was kicking me so much that night I almost threw up twice... I remember patting my stomach like I was actually holding him to try and comfort him lol, I felt so helpless and I don't know if it helped..but I loved it! His kicks are my favorite too, especially when friends or family start playing with him. The other day I was sleeping and Jeff had woken up a little before me so he started patting my stomach and laughing to himself like he was actually playing with Conner.......it was so cute. I still haven't told him I caught him doing it hahaha.

Favorite memory:

I think I love most the memories that Jeffrey and I were able to make. The special things he did for me when I was so upset and felt so low meant the world to me. He has absolutely turned into the most perfect human being I know during this experience. I guess because I'm so stubborn,  I had to be in a complete place of vulnerability to let people cheer me up so much and understand how lucky I am and what better time than pregnancy right? :) 

Funniest memory: 

 I think the cravings turned out to be the times I laughed the most. Like ordering a crazy amount of food at Jack in the box...she asked if all the tacos were for me and baby and I just lied...haha. It happen alot! I always ordered way too much food that I never ate, but always lied when people would ask. Gooood times!

Most embarrassing memory: 

Towards the end of pregnancy, right before I took maternity leave, I started contracting alot and it was really embarrassing if I was in mid-sentence and talking to a group of people and had to hide all the pain and feelings going on in my body. I know a number of times people would stop talking and ask if I was ok and I'd just laugh....because I was embarassed hah.  I also have a lot of embarrassing moments with morning sickness and nausea.

#1 Craving: 

The most unexpected craving has been BBQ sauce and Pepsi/Coke products. BBQ sauce I never really went out of my way to eat, but at some points in pregnancy it was my soul food! I love it! and I couldn't stand Pepsi/Coke, but I've bought a couple packs this pregnancy. 

Biggest unexpected change: 

I feel like I am a completely different person now and I didn't expect that. For example, I can really handle a lot of emotions at once without having to confide in people, call my girls up or overreact. There is really nothing that gets me so worked up anymore and I love that. I really had to work hard on trying to improve my communication because I was so bad at it, but because of it my relationship is so perfect now. I feel like I have a lot more to learn and I'll always be growing, but I took more away from this experience than anything else so far in life. I'm finally proud of everything I am, everything I've accomplished and everything I have.

Overall Emotion: I had a lot of anxiety during pregnancy.

Thoughts right now: Right now I'm, of course, excited to meet this little man. I wonder how I'll do during Labor and what Conner is going to look like.  It's still really strange to me that this baby is mine and Jeffreys. It's such a BEAUTIFUL feeling to know that! I'm guilty of being judgmental before to people that had gotten pregnant. I always wondered how people can feel happy about bringing a baby into the world when they didn't have a healthy relationship, or enough money, or didn't seem to be mature enough but I'm sincerely sorry for thinking those things before.  Life is so unexpected, but at the end of the day that baby just needs love. I was so stressed moving three times at 7/8 months pregnant. I'm still a little worried taking maternity leave and hoping all the bills get paid, but never, ever would I say those things are reasons to not have a kid at this point in my life. People can judge us, it's going to happen but I'm so happy to have this baby and I know I'm blessed! Despite this being a surprise pregnancy, I'd CHOOSE this life for me. It's the best surprise I could have ever asked for!